10:38 PM 3/20/03

Me, now.

War on terrorism, war on Iraq. Yesterday war was officialy declared on the country of Iraq. George Bush decided that we had to go in and take over the country. Here’s some reasons that he did it…

-Weapons. He claims that the Iraqi governent/military has weapons of ‘mass destruction’, possibly chemical or biological weapons. Which dosn’t seem too horrible, ’cause it’s not like _we_ don’t have any weapons like that… in fact, we’ve probably got way better stuff then they do anyway, so… and anyway, if they ever tried to _use_ the weapons, they would die. It’s a fact. The retaliation would be instant, and deadly. They wouldn’t survive. I would hate that.

-Oppression. I think the whole war propoganda thing has made a mistake in not promoting the ‘freeing Iraq’s oppressed people’ angle. I would be more inclined to go to war over human rights violations, oppression, or persecution then over weapons or trade policies.

-Oil. Let’s face it, there’s a whole bunch of oil in the middle east, and we’re a nation that consumes more oil then could ever be good for us. Other countries have oil trade going on with Iraq, and those countries, consequently, arn’t supporting our dumb little war. France, for instance. Everyone’s getting mad at France.

More on that subject. War makes people a little crazy. Sean said something wise and worth remembering today, something that I agree with. “It’s not the war that I’m scared of, it’s the way people act while we’re at war.” Stupid, childish stuff, like renaming french fries and french toast to freedom fries and freedom toast. Stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. The French are doing the right thing by distancing themselves from this conflict… it’s really just _our_ war, no the rest of the world’s. We’ve already got Great Britain aiding us with troops. We can’t just have everybody ganging up on Iraq…

So, it started out with some missiles being launched. Apparently, they thought they knew where Saddam Hussien was, and tried to take out the target of opportunity. Did it work? That’s a problem. Saddam has given several tv speeches since that bombing run, but it could be a look alike, or a pre-recorded message made for this purpose. Now, since then, there’s been several bombing runs by aircraft and Marines begining to invade. At several points they’ve been hindered by Iraqi retaliation, but it seems like most of the soldiers are just simply waiting to see our army so that they can surrender. British artillery is helping to cover the Marine ground troups on their way into Iraq. They’re moving towards Bahgdad.

While I certainly don’t support the war, now that it’s started, I can’t not be supportive of those fighting it. Now that they’re in the thick of it, or thin at this point, I guess, I really hope that we win. I hope that it’s over quickly, and there’s a bare minimum of casualties for both sides, military and civilian. Saddam certainly dosn’t deserve to die… just to be removed from power and from any influence he might have. Maybe put him in Alcatraz. I don’t know. Death isn’t a good thing, for any reason.

Well, the days are marching on. Spring break starts in two to four days, depending on how you count it… on saturday I’m going to a creative arts imposium with uncle steve, put on by the Portland Art Institute, where I’m thinking of attending college. I hope I get to. I really want to go to a good college for something I like to do and have fun getting my degree for whatever. Then, go on to get a job that I’ll be happy with. Make enough money to support myself, buy a cool house, get stuff, eat stuff, make stuff, sell music and a book, retire, and then just relax. Do what ever I want, and be able to because the working part of my life is over. Eventually, I’ll die.

…

That’s the thing I’m most scared about. Dying.

I can’t really even think about it too hard… it just scares me. I get all hung up on it, go over and over things in my head, keep thinking and thinking to that one moment where everything stops, and how it’s all temporary ’cause it’ll all end, and you don’t know when…

Death. Yuk. I hate it. Why would you die? It’s the whole law of nature thing. Of course, there’s stuff after death. My beliefs tell me that.

Heaven. Hell. One or the other, after you die. Sure, I belive that, but how does it work? Does your consiousness transfer to a different plane of existence? Are you still aware, able to think? Do you just get stuck in memories without any external input? I think that, at they end, when everyone’s being judged and thrown into Hell for eternity, I’m going to ask God to spare them. All of them. It’ll be over, he’ll have won. No point in damning all those people, they realize that you’re the winner. You’re the most powerfull. The creator. After death, everyone will realize what’s gonig on. Everyone will pay, or will be payed, for the things they did in life.

I could use assurance, I suppose, that everything’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to turn out alright. The war, I dont’ care about too much, it dosn’t directly effect me, at least not yet, not as far as I can tell. However, death does. God, I hope that no one dies. I won’t…

I was going to type that I won’t be able to take it, but I know I will. It’ll just be so hard… so weird… I hate thinking about this. No one should leave me.

Do you know how lucky you are, Matt? You’ve got a decent body, pretty good friends, a good school, top-notch parents who encourage and are good to you, live in a cool city, in a cool country, have enough money to be able to have fun mostly whenever you want to… You’ve got a lap top, a keyboard, a dreamcast… you’re taking two periods of computer classes with Mr. Farris. Matt, you’re having a great life. Don’t hesitate to take advantage of it.

11:05 PM 3/20/03